Blur

My life is currently a blur.

 

There are so many reasons this is true including I have an infant, I am in my first year teaching, I have a 3 year old, and my husband is constantly (not really although it feels this way) traveling.

I think anyone of these things is stressful and challenging, all of them happening at once just makes me lucky. Almost 5 months ago Callan was born and I am so happy that he is here. Like his older brother he is an absolutely delightful baby. Of course I take credit for this part of my boys as anyone who has met Aaron knows well that is not exactly who he is.

As I find myself trying to be the best at everything I feel like I am the worst at everything. I cannot be the best mother, teacher and wife at the same time. I know on those days that I am being a good mother and spending time with my boys, I am neglecting the lesson plans I should be writing. And on the other hand when I am leaving the school at 5 each day I know that I have missed out on time with my boys because I worked just a little bit longer in an attempt to be more prepared and provide a better educational experience for my students.

It is hard, but I think it is the right thing for me. I love that my job allows me to spend weekends with my boys, it does not require me to travel and spend nights away. I get the opportunity to always be thinking about education and how that relates to students and eventually how that will impact my own children. Staying home with my boys is enjoyable, but I know from maternity leave and from summers of spending extending weeks and months with my kids that I function better in an environment where a structure is required. When I teach the structure is required, I do not design it, although it is flexible it is firm. At home for the most part it is free flowing I am not structured enough to spend everyday here and feel like we accomplish something. When I think about it, it feels like it doesn’t make sense. It seems like I should want nothing more than to stay home with my own children rather than spend time with someone else’s.  The only way I understand it is that I feel like I am a better mother and a better wife if I do not spend all day everyday with my own kids. Does that mean I don’t give it a second thought?  Absolutely not, I think about it constantly. I try so hard to take the advice of so many grandparents and to cherish this time hold my infant and loving my rambunctious 3 year old because soon enough I know that these days will be distant memories.

I am going to keep on keeping on, loving my weekends and summers and never ever wishing a moment away. Okay maybe the moment when they are both screaming and I am just done…that moment can go away. I love this time in my life. I love being a mother and I loving the massive challenge that is teaching. I also love my husband. He supports me in so many ways, usually it silently and steadfast. I am so happy with my pick of a husband. He has completely brainwashed me into believing he is amazing. I hope that someday my boys will be just as amazing and talented as he is.

 

So as these years blur by and it becomes difficult to differentiate between the passing weeks, months and years I will be focusing on happiness and fullness. My life is completely full and most of the time it is completely happy. What more could I ask for?

 

Updates

Callan nearly 5 months old

rolls from tummy to back

really really tries to scoot on his tummy

rolls from back to tummy

constantly flapping his arms and kicking his legs

loves SMILING

loves Nolan

loves laying on his changing table

enjoys taking baths with his big brother

enjoys exploring everything by putting it in his mouth

doesn’t love alone time

doesn’t love sleeping alone

doesn’t love having is shirt changed

doesn’t love

 

Nolan 3 1/2 years old

loves to pretend he is a super hero

loves to run, jump and play outside

love eating broccoli!

loves his little brother

loves give hugs and snuggles

loves to tell you he loves you

loves to reading books

loves watching shows

loves to make new friends

doesn’t love sleeping alone (but he now does it!!!)

doesn’t love sauces…ketchup, BBQ sauce

doesn’t love when his daddy is away (he generally has a hard time at daycare when Aaron travels)

Nolan has a lot to say and wants to tell you everything about everything. I love him so much!

Wow…Happy Labor Day…Already!

The last several months have gone quickly but the most recent month has flown by.

I started teaching 3rd grade in Attica on August 14th. It is overwhelming, stressful, delightful and very enjoyable. Nolan has transitioned fairly well back to being in daycare. (Thank goodness)

I cannot believe that we are only about a month away from meeting our little guy. As I am growing bigger and bigger he is moving more and more. I feel so lucky that this pregnancy has gone by so quickly but then I realize….I am not ready for a baby! I don’t have his clothes washed I don’t have diapers. All of the things I lovingly prepared in anticipation for Nolan. However since we have been told we are having another boy, I am not too worried as I know the box of newborn clothes I saved will be ready when he arrives.

What a wild ride this year is sure to be. I am lucky to have such a great group of students, I think that they will handle having a long term sub just fine. (I hope) I also met the lady that will be filling in for me while I am on leave and she is really nice. I look forward to working with her.

It would be wonderful if Aaron and I could take this time to enjoy our last few weeks as a family of three. But this is a busy season for teachers and farmers.

Aaron has been busting his butt working so hard on the farm. Generally he works from about 6 or 7 am to 9 or 10 pm. We certainly miss him during these long days. Nolan asked me today “why did you make daddy go away?” My heart hurt a little just hearing that, but I explained to him that daddy is working hard and that soon he will be here working in his office a lot more. We also went out to visit Aaron while he was changing barrings on the disc. Nolan just loves being able to “help daddy work”. Soon enough Aaron will have two little guys chasing him around asking how they can “help”.

Nolan’s 3rd birthday is this week. He is growing up so fast!  I love this little guy so much. I know that soon enough he will be a big boy that no long (thinks he) needs his mom. But for now we are close as can be and I love it! He is such an explorer. Marilyn tells me Aaron was the same way when he was a little guy. He also is incredibly sweet and kind-hearted.

Here is to the end of the summer…Happy Labor Day!

2014-06-25 16.45.00 2014-06-25 13.15.30 2014-08-24 14.56.02 2014-08-22 19.57.12 2014-08-22 19.56.39 2014-08-22 19.42.48 2014-08-22 19.34.41 Aaron and Nolan Hutch Zoo 2014-08-15 20.21.58 2014-08-15 18.03.18 2014-08-09 15.48.32 2014-08-09 11.04.55 2014-07-28 18.11.28 2014-07-28 18.11.19 2014-07-24 17.39.20 2014-07-24 17.31.53 2014-07-24 16.27.25 2014-07-24 11.34.11 2014-07-23 20.56.00 2014-07-23 19.21.55 2014-07-23 09.03.20 2014-07-22 16.10.29




2014-06-26 00.47.04

 

Nolan Nolan Nolan

nolan

On June 1st I took Nolan up to Pratt to have his pictures taken by Stacie Strong. As always Stacie did a great job and was undeterred by this little guy trying to run off after each photo snap. I am amazed that they turned out as well as they did. She was quick with the shots and got some great ones of our little guy. Thank you Stacie we love them!

In these pictures Nolan is about 33 months old as his 3rd birthday will be at the end of August. Nolan is growing up quickly it seems. I am treasuring (and pulling my hair out) this summer as we get to spend so much time together. He is so smart, I know every parent says this about their children, but even so it is wonderful to listen to his questions and watch him explore and learn about he environment around him.

Some of Nolan’s favorite things are:

  • His Daddy, he already looks up to him saying “Daddy is a good worker”, “I’m going to be a good worker too”.
  • Being outside, for as long as I can remember this has been Nolan’s favorite place to be.
  • Other kids, the neighbor kids as especially interesting to him. If we hear voices while in our backyard, there is no chance Nolan is staying in our yard. He will be out the fence and the their yard before I even look up.
  • He loves Jake and the Neverland Pirates, good or bad he likes it and we put up with it.
  • Reading books, he is always interested in sitting down for a good read and refuses to go to bed if we don’t read our stories.
  • Farming, he loves riding on the tractors and combine and he is already telling Aaron about the equipment. He had his first combine ride of the season earlier this week. He loves it, asking so many questions about the wheat as well as every button and sound in the combine.
  • ICE CREAM, can you blame the kid, who doesn’t love ice cream. This does get a little tricky since he is allergic to peanuts but for the time being his favorite is vanilla which makes it easy to avoid nuts.
  • Pretend play, Nolan has always been pretty good at self entertaining as he has gotten older it is really fun to watch. He plays by himself but he carries on two sides of a conversation. He doesn’t really even need toys, sometimes his right and left hands or feet are “talking” to each other, often in a dispute. I guess he is learning conflict resolution. He also likes to tell us that he is just pretending or that it is not real.

This growing boy is amazing and wonderful and I am so very happy that he is ours. It is fun to hear people say that he is just like Aaron when he was a boy. They both make me so happy everyday, I cannot wait to add another man to my life, surely that can only mean more happy right?

 

 

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