Blur

My life is currently a blur.

 

There are so many reasons this is true including I have an infant, I am in my first year teaching, I have a 3 year old, and my husband is constantly (not really although it feels this way) traveling.

I think anyone of these things is stressful and challenging, all of them happening at once just makes me lucky. Almost 5 months ago Callan was born and I am so happy that he is here. Like his older brother he is an absolutely delightful baby. Of course I take credit for this part of my boys as anyone who has met Aaron knows well that is not exactly who he is.

As I find myself trying to be the best at everything I feel like I am the worst at everything. I cannot be the best mother, teacher and wife at the same time. I know on those days that I am being a good mother and spending time with my boys, I am neglecting the lesson plans I should be writing. And on the other hand when I am leaving the school at 5 each day I know that I have missed out on time with my boys because I worked just a little bit longer in an attempt to be more prepared and provide a better educational experience for my students.

It is hard, but I think it is the right thing for me. I love that my job allows me to spend weekends with my boys, it does not require me to travel and spend nights away. I get the opportunity to always be thinking about education and how that relates to students and eventually how that will impact my own children. Staying home with my boys is enjoyable, but I know from maternity leave and from summers of spending extending weeks and months with my kids that I function better in an environment where a structure is required. When I teach the structure is required, I do not design it, although it is flexible it is firm. At home for the most part it is free flowing I am not structured enough to spend everyday here and feel like we accomplish something. When I think about it, it feels like it doesn’t make sense. It seems like I should want nothing more than to stay home with my own children rather than spend time with someone else’s.  The only way I understand it is that I feel like I am a better mother and a better wife if I do not spend all day everyday with my own kids. Does that mean I don’t give it a second thought?  Absolutely not, I think about it constantly. I try so hard to take the advice of so many grandparents and to cherish this time hold my infant and loving my rambunctious 3 year old because soon enough I know that these days will be distant memories.

I am going to keep on keeping on, loving my weekends and summers and never ever wishing a moment away. Okay maybe the moment when they are both screaming and I am just done…that moment can go away. I love this time in my life. I love being a mother and I loving the massive challenge that is teaching. I also love my husband. He supports me in so many ways, usually it silently and steadfast. I am so happy with my pick of a husband. He has completely brainwashed me into believing he is amazing. I hope that someday my boys will be just as amazing and talented as he is.

 

So as these years blur by and it becomes difficult to differentiate between the passing weeks, months and years I will be focusing on happiness and fullness. My life is completely full and most of the time it is completely happy. What more could I ask for?

 

Updates

Callan nearly 5 months old

rolls from tummy to back

really really tries to scoot on his tummy

rolls from back to tummy

constantly flapping his arms and kicking his legs

loves SMILING

loves Nolan

loves laying on his changing table

enjoys taking baths with his big brother

enjoys exploring everything by putting it in his mouth

doesn’t love alone time

doesn’t love sleeping alone

doesn’t love having is shirt changed

doesn’t love

 

Nolan 3 1/2 years old

loves to pretend he is a super hero

loves to run, jump and play outside

love eating broccoli!

loves his little brother

loves give hugs and snuggles

loves to tell you he loves you

loves to reading books

loves watching shows

loves to make new friends

doesn’t love sleeping alone (but he now does it!!!)

doesn’t love sauces…ketchup, BBQ sauce

doesn’t love when his daddy is away (he generally has a hard time at daycare when Aaron travels)

Nolan has a lot to say and wants to tell you everything about everything. I love him so much!

Wow…Happy Labor Day…Already!

The last several months have gone quickly but the most recent month has flown by.

I started teaching 3rd grade in Attica on August 14th. It is overwhelming, stressful, delightful and very enjoyable. Nolan has transitioned fairly well back to being in daycare. (Thank goodness)

I cannot believe that we are only about a month away from meeting our little guy. As I am growing bigger and bigger he is moving more and more. I feel so lucky that this pregnancy has gone by so quickly but then I realize….I am not ready for a baby! I don’t have his clothes washed I don’t have diapers. All of the things I lovingly prepared in anticipation for Nolan. However since we have been told we are having another boy, I am not too worried as I know the box of newborn clothes I saved will be ready when he arrives.

What a wild ride this year is sure to be. I am lucky to have such a great group of students, I think that they will handle having a long term sub just fine. (I hope) I also met the lady that will be filling in for me while I am on leave and she is really nice. I look forward to working with her.

It would be wonderful if Aaron and I could take this time to enjoy our last few weeks as a family of three. But this is a busy season for teachers and farmers.

Aaron has been busting his butt working so hard on the farm. Generally he works from about 6 or 7 am to 9 or 10 pm. We certainly miss him during these long days. Nolan asked me today “why did you make daddy go away?” My heart hurt a little just hearing that, but I explained to him that daddy is working hard and that soon he will be here working in his office a lot more. We also went out to visit Aaron while he was changing barrings on the disc. Nolan just loves being able to “help daddy work”. Soon enough Aaron will have two little guys chasing him around asking how they can “help”.

Nolan’s 3rd birthday is this week. He is growing up so fast!  I love this little guy so much. I know that soon enough he will be a big boy that no long (thinks he) needs his mom. But for now we are close as can be and I love it! He is such an explorer. Marilyn tells me Aaron was the same way when he was a little guy. He also is incredibly sweet and kind-hearted.

Here is to the end of the summer…Happy Labor Day!

2014-06-25 16.45.00 2014-06-25 13.15.30 2014-08-24 14.56.02 2014-08-22 19.57.12 2014-08-22 19.56.39 2014-08-22 19.42.48 2014-08-22 19.34.41 Aaron and Nolan Hutch Zoo 2014-08-15 20.21.58 2014-08-15 18.03.18 2014-08-09 15.48.32 2014-08-09 11.04.55 2014-07-28 18.11.28 2014-07-28 18.11.19 2014-07-24 17.39.20 2014-07-24 17.31.53 2014-07-24 16.27.25 2014-07-24 11.34.11 2014-07-23 20.56.00 2014-07-23 19.21.55 2014-07-23 09.03.20 2014-07-22 16.10.29




2014-06-26 00.47.04

 

3 Months!

Nolan is 3 months old!

Nolan is growing and learning so quickly!  He is already 3 months old.  November was a busy month for the Traffas Family. We celebrated my 27th birthday on November 8th, Aaron and I went out to dinner at a restaurant we hadn’t tried before; The Newport Grill. It was great, wonderful selections of entrees, delicious desserts and custom-made cocktails!

Aaron has been tirelessly working on finishing up the recordings and artwork for his CD. It is currently at the disc maker and should be shipped soon to make it here by Friday December 9! Aaron Traffas Band’s CD release party is December 10th in Manhattan at Bobby T’s. I am so excited to see the finished product.

On November 21st I returned to work at TFI Family Services.  So far I feel like things are going well at work. I haven’t cried yet. Nolan and Aaron are trying to find their rhythm at home.  Some days  are great while others I think Aaron get a little stressed.  As any person providing childcare would feel. Luckily Nolan is a very good baby and most of the time is very easy to get along with. We are all just settling into our new schedules and seeing if this is going to work for us long-term.

Some of the  developmental milestones Nolan (as a 3 month old) is currently working on include:

  • He is able to focus on and follow a moving object. Watches faces intently-Yes, Nolan loves to watch everything going on around him. One of his favorite things is watching his mobile. He looks at the little animals above his changing table very intently too.
  • Settling into sleeping, eating, and waking patterns and can sleep longer.-Sort of, he has started to take a longer nap in the afternoons and eats every 3-4 hours.
  • When held in a sitting position he can now hold his head up.-Yes he can, he has good control over his head almost all the time with the exception being when he is sleepy.
  • Lifts head and chest while lying on stomach-Nolan is able to do this, however he does not like to do tummy time very much so, he get frustrated quickly.
  • Will now notice certain objects of interest and swipe at them with his hands. He just started swiping at objects in the last week!.
  • Can now push down on a hard surface when being held in a standing position. Yes Nolan pushes down and makes little stepping movements when supported in the standing position.
  • Can kick quite strongly now as his knee and hip joints become more and more flexible-YES-Nolan has been doing this for a while, he enjoys laying on his back and kicking his legs and swinging his arms.
  • He is developing intellectually and begins to laugh out loud. –Yes I think so, he enjoys interacting with us and smiles and “talks” to us, I don’t know if it would be considered a laugh though.
  • Spontaneously smiles.-All the time, especially in the mornings and when he wakes from a long nap or finishes eating.
  • Turns head and neck to find the source of a sound. –Nolan is very interested in figuring out where sounds are coming from. He will turn his head back and forth trying to figure out who is talking or making noise. Sometimes he gets upset if we turn him away from the TV and he can still hear it. He will turn his head back and forth vigorously searching.
  • Holds hand open. Yes he no longer has his hands balled up all the time.
  • Can grasp and shake a rattle. Yes he can, however we don’t give him any rattles just yet, as he doesn’t really have control of his hands and he tends to hit himself in the face with his hands. He does grasp our fingers and shakes them. Recently he has started exploring how his fingers taste. Constantly sucking on his hands exploring the sensations.
  • Can roll from front to back-Not yet, he doesn’t like to spend much time tummy side down. But he does seem like he is getting closer to rolling from back to front. He arches his back and get up on his heels.  I think this is something he will continue to work on this month.  Nolan also is very interested in what is above him, meaning above his head (out of view) when lying down. He tilts his head up and tries to look at all the thins that he can’t see, whether it be people toys or yes sometimes that darn TV.
My favorite time to spend with Nolan is having conversations. He loves “talking” to people it gets him so excited. Since birth he has made noises, I think this little guy is going to be quite the talker when he can get his point across.  When Nolan cries it is not really like most babies cries, he kind of just yells to see if you are paying attention then stops to see if you are going to fix his frustration. He is absolutely wonderful. Aaron and I often wonder how we are so lucky to have such a great little guy.
I can’t believe November is already gone. We had an enjoyable Thanksgiving break spending time in Smith Center, Sharon and Belle Plaine. In Smith Center Nolan met his Great Grandma and Great Grandpa Hundley (my mom’s parents) for the first time along with many great aunts and uncles and cousins. Aaron unfortunately did not join us as he had been fighting off a cold. On Friday we headed to Sharon,  it was nice to see Aaron’s family. During the dinner there was not any one point when everyone was at the table. Having two babies under 3 months sure does change the dynamic.  Finally on Sunday we headed to Belle Plaine to see my Dad’s extended family. Nolan had a great day and enjoy visiting with lots of cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents. We are so blessed with great families and I always enjoy Thanksgiving as it is the best time to celebrate family and what we are thankful for. This year there is no question Aaron and I are so thankful for Nolan coming into our lives and turning everything upside down…and we LOVE it!
I am so happy we found the time to make it over to Pratt this month to have Stacie Strong take some family pictures of us. They turned out great and I can’t wait to get my Christmas card put together featuring these pictures.

Nolan has Arrived!

Nolan Traffas

I am thrilled to announce that our wonderful Nolan arrived on 27 August at 3:56pm. He was born one week before his scheduled due date. Nolan weighed 8 lbs 2.6oz and was 21 inches long.

He took his time making his grand entrance.  I started having contractions 5-7 minutes apart on Friday (8/26) at 5:30am, the contractions continued very consistently for the next 34 hours, but unfortunately Nolan was not able to be born naturally because he was positioned in the birth canal “OP” or occiput posterior which basically means he was face up rather than face down. Babies can make it through this way but after four hours of pushing and no progress we and the doctor decided to go ahead and proceed with a cesarean birth.  I was very nervous and scared to have a cesarean, but as it turns out everything went well in the operating room and I am recovering well.

Nolan has been a dream come true for both Aaron and me. He is absolutely adorable and has for the most part been pretty easy to get along with.  While in the hospital Aaron and I were a little worried about him because he didn’t seem to cry about anything.  He has since rediscovered this ability so no worries about that anymore.

We were released from the hospital on Monday evening. Everything seemed to be going pretty well until we tried to go to sleep that night.  Basically none of us slept at all the entire night.  I am trying to breastfeed, but my milk has not come in yet and Nolan was hungry, he tried to nurse for 3 hours straight with only small breaks. It was exhausting and very frustrating for all of us.  After an appointment with our new doctor today she gave us instructions on supplementing with formula until I am able to produce milk. Everyone has been much happier and feeling better today. I believe tonight will be much easier as well. Hopefully we will all get some sleep.

Nolan has another appointment tomorrow with the to get his bilirubin levels checked. He has been measuring a little high. These levels indicate jaundice.  Hopefully getting a little food in his belly and sun bathing today will help him.  Nolan also has an appointment with an Ear, Nose and Throat doctor tomorrow, the tongue connective tissue is connect near the end of the tongue, apparently this can cause orthodontic issues and speech problems so we are going to have that taken care of in the afternoon to hopefully prevent any issues in the future.

I am so happy with our new little family. It feels so good to be  a parent and I could not ask for a better partner in this.  Aaron has done a wonderful job taking care of both of us.

 

 

38 Week Appointment

Cake at the surprise baby shower

11 days till our due date! I can’t believe it.  It feels like it has gone so quickly, but yet these last few weeks time has started to slow down. I have started to slow down.  I think our little guy is going to be a healthy weight. I feel like he is packing on the pounds. Thankfully I am still able to sleep almost all the way through the night and I do not yet feel like I am “waddling”.  I have continued walking but my walks have gotten shorter as I find myself tired faster than before.

I was surprised on Monday at work with a baby shower by my coworkers. It was so sweet.  I think Aaron and I have decided on a glider rocker, I plan to go order it after work today at Babies R Us.  We are also still deciding on a crib.  Otherwise I think most of the purchases that need to be made have been made and we will we ready to go when Nolan makes his grand entrance.

Showing off the 38 week bump

Today’s appointment went well. Some people have been telling me they think I have “dropped” I am not sure, I am experiencing more lower pressure, so maybe. Nolan’s heat rate was 142 beats/minute. He is still moving around a fair amount but not quite a wildly as before.  The doctor said I have not made any progress towards labor, so it is just a waiting game now.

Being so close to the due date it is hard to wait, I am trying to stay focused and finish up all of the work I need to do before I go on maternity leave, but all I want to do is head to the hospital and meet my little guy. Someday soon, can’t wait to share pictures!

36 week appointment

Baby Nolan's Car Seat

Well we are in the home stretch here. Today we had our 36 week appointment. Everything went well, nothing really to report. Our normal doctor is on vacation this week so we met with a nurse/midwife just to make sure there were no problems.

We did find out however that I am a carrier of Group B Strep (GBS), therefore once I go into labor I will need to have antibiotic through an IV to try to ensure that the baby does not become ill. For low risk carriers such as myself, if I am given antibiotics during labor there is only a 1 in 4000 chance of delivering a baby with GBS. So hopefully everything goes well and the medication prevents the transmission of GBS to our little guy.

Today Baby Nolan’s heart beat was 157 beats/minute.  The nurse said she believes he is still head down.  I have been experiencing Braxton Hicks contractions for about 3 days now, that are pretty frequent. I have been having abdominal tightening for about two months, but these definitely feel a little different. More discomfort than before  that is for sure.  I finally have my bag packed for the hospital. I have also been spending some time this week washing tiny little baby clothes. Why is laundry so much cuter when it is tiny?

Tomorrow is my last scheduled travel day for work. I have a meeting in Emporia, then I am in my office until D-day. It will be nice knowing I don’t have to travel anymore. It is just not very comfortable to drive and I get so tired.

Our 37 week appointment is set for next Tuesday, August 16th. That same day we have our final class, Car Seat Safety, so we will have the car seat installed and ready for Nolan’s first ride. Nolan’s car seat arrived last week on our door step thanks to Grandma and Grandpa Traffas. Aaron and I love the car seat and look forward to having it filled with a little boy.

ONE MONTH!

Today is one month from our due date! I can’t believe it, we are getting so close to meeting our little boy.  Aaron and I had an appointment today with our doctor, she checked to make sure the baby is head down. She did a quick sonogram to confirm at which time she also definitively confirm that we are indeed having a little boy. What a relief we don’t need to worry about returning any of the wonderful gifts we received at the shower last weekend. He was a little feisty when the nurse tried to check his heart rate he kicked the wand two times. However she was able to record his heart rate at 145 beats/minute.

I am absolutely thrilled that we are getting so close.  I have been feeling pretty good, the heat is irritating, but it is for everyone else too. My feet have been a little swollen, but it has stayed manageable.  It is just so exciting to think that we are going to be able to hold him so soon. I can’t wait and I know Aaron is excited too. I love having sonograms, being able to see the little guy moving around just makes real for me. This is such an amazing time, I am so glad I get to share it with Aaron.

The list of things that we “need” to do before our little one arrives seems to just keep growing and growing.  After a wonderful baby shower on Saturday I do feel a little more prepared.  But we still need to buy a crib, install the car seat, pack the bag for the hospital, pick up a few more essentials, get the baby’s room ready, etc, etc, etc. I don’t think there is any way for us to really be ready for all of the changes that are about to happen in our lives. Hopefully we make good choices and are able to be good parents to what I am sure will be a wonderful son.

Ready or Not

Aaron is back from harvest!  They finished cutting last Friday thanks to no rain delays this summer.  Now we are trying to get everything together in preparation for our new edition to our family. I luckily have continued to feel pretty good.  I have noticed I am increasingly more tired and little hungrier than normal.  My first introduction to leg cramps woke me up in the middle of the night with terrible cramping in my calf that seemed to last for 3 days. I am hope I do not have any more of those.

Aaron and I are attempting to get a baby registry started.  I just can’t decide where it should be…target, wal-mart, babies r us.  I have started a registry on Amazon.  It is so hard deciding which items we want. I am really looking forward to our baby shower at the end of July; it is always so much fun to see friends and family!

Aaron and I had a doctor’s appointment on June 26th. Everything went well our doctor said that the growth looks good.  Our little guy’s heart beat was 143 beats/minute. Which is a little slower than previously recorded but still within normal range.  We start going to the doctor every two weeks now so our next appointment will be July 11th.  Aaron will be in Orlando for the NAA (National Auctioneer Association) Conference and Show, so I guess I will have to handle this appointment on my own.  With the increase in appointments and the rapid growth of my tummy it is really starting to get real.  We are 66 days from our due date.   My doctor told us we should be ready for anything by the beginning of August.  Wow, it is coming quickly. I have been able to stay pretty calm and not get to worked up about things, however knowing that we will be holding our little baby in about two months if not sooner, well that just gets me nervous and excited!

Since Aaron was away so much in June he had not really had a chance to feel the baby kicking yet. Well on Monday night he felt the little guy kick for the first time. It was really neat to share that experience with Aaron. Our little guy continued to kick for about 20-30 minutes in the same place, I think he knew it was his Daddy and wanted to make his presence known. 🙂

We are looking forward to a busy weekend.  Aaron is playing shows in Sharon and Medicine Lodge this weekend and as it turns out Sharon is celebrating its 125th Birthday so they are having some fun activities over the weekend as well.  Hopefully the temperatures stay moderate, but I think it will probably be dreadfully hot. Enjoy the holiday weekend!

Less than 90 days

We have entered the 3rd trimester!  Aaron and I are both getting very excited about meeting our son.  I know that we are not completely ready yet, but that is alright. I think most parenting is done by trial and error anyway, right? There are a thousand things left for use to do in preparation, but sticking the our true nature we will get it together, right toward the due date.  Hopefully he doesn’t come too early…

We have attended several Childbirth Preparation classes that  have done less to prepare me and more to scare me about the labor and delivery process. Just like every other first time mom I am praying for a smooth delivery and a healthy baby.

According to the doctor everything is going well with my pregnancy. I had my blood glucose tested at my last appointment, I have not received the results yet, but my doctor said that if it was high they would have contacted me to schedule the 3 hour test.  So because I haven’t been contacted I am assuming I must be within normal range.  I have been trying to keep walking, but the weather is starting to get out of control. We are expecting record highs tomorrow of 105+. Time to start looking into a gym membership! I think this is going to be  a long summer, I will probably remember the heat and discomfort for the rest of my life!

It is the beginning of June and you know what that means…Harvest. Aaron is on harvest leave until further notice. Luckily being only an hour from Sharon  does make it a little easier for him to come back to Wichita and see me.  The last few months have just been flying by and I am sure that June will be no exception. I may not even notice his absence, although I think that is pretty unlikely.

Aaron and I were so excited to find out that Aaron’s sister Megan and her husband Andrew are expect a little girl on October 22, 2011!  What a blessing to be able to experience being first time parents together.  Congratulations Megan and Andrew!

Just can’t wait to meet these babies!

Baby Traffas’s Quilt


While Aaron was away this weekend in Sacramento. I decided that I would trust the sonogram technician and go ahead and start a quilt for a little baby BOY!  I was so excited to get started on something for the little one. Aaron and I haven’t really bought anything yet as we were waiting to find out the gender.

Quilt fabric selections

I have made quilts in the past with my Grandma Poe but that has been many many years and they were always squares of the same size. Anyhow I found this pattern at a local quilting shop and I just love it.

By the end of the day on Saturday I had been to 4 quilting/fabric shops in town looking for just the right fabric. I really thought I had nailed it when I got home with my selections.  So I started cutting away making tons of little blocks to be sewn back together. I worked and worked all day, but had to get some sleep so I called it quits when I had 1/4 of the squares assembled.  I felt so proud of myself.

Sunday morning I woke up feeling terrible as I have been battling a sinus cold, but then I saw all of the cute little square laying there just waiting to be sewn together, so got back to work. I sewed all of the squares together to complete the front of the quilt. Then I laid the quilt on the bed to take a look at my progress.  I was somehow disappointed with my work. I had tried so hard to choose fabrics that complimented each other but  now the only color I was seeing when I looked at the quilt was ORANGE!

Baby Boy's Quilt

I thought, “what can I do now it is completely sewn together.” So I did something very silly and started ripping out the seams. I also added some large solid squares of the blue fabrics. Then re-sewed the quilt back together. I am much happier with it now, but it is still not exactly what I was thinking in my head.

Last night I finished adding the quilt batting and the quilt backing. The quilt backing is the dark blue fabric already used in the quilt. Now I still need to decide if I am going to try actually quilting the blanket with the wandering stitch as the pattern picture had shown or stick with just hand tying the quilt.  Either way I think will be fine. I know that the hand tied would take less time, but I think the stitched quilting would look really nice. I have no experience with stitching a quilt. My Grandma always preferred the hand tied when we were young because it took less time and we (the kids) could help. So for now I will stay undecided about how I will be finishing up the quilt. The final step will be to decide on binding for the edges. The patterns says it is not something that is completely necessary but it just seems like it would be a nice finishing touch. I think I may use the same dark blue fabric that I used for the backing.

Baby's Quilt Close Up

I think this could be a really fun starting point for our little guy’s room. I love the baby dinosaurs fabric and I was thinking about trying to use it somewhere else in the room. Possible curtains, who knows at this point. Luckily I have plenty of time to decide.

Just over 150 days till he is due to arrive. Can’t wait to meet him.